Fay Tale - Chapter Eight

It was evening by the time prince and princess returned from the city. The king’s sources informed him that the prince heir had carried his sleeping daughter into her room and had yet to leave it. Since this source happened to be Bremen, also newly arrived from the city, the king was inclined to believe it.

“Not that he couldn’t slip out a window and fly over to try and slit your throat,” the cat continued agreeably, “but I think he won’t want to leave her side. At least for tonight.”

“A happy respite for my throat, no doubt,” the king replied dryly.

“Happy enough for a bath?”

Anand cocked an eyebrow at his friend whose dislike of baths was well known.

“I still have salt in my coat,” the cat sniffed in explanation.

The king frowned, his own discomfort from the salty water brought to the fore. He had cleaned up well enough after the ‘incident’ with Scylla before meeting with the Merchant Guilt in town, but it had been a rushed job for the sake of royal presentation only.

“I would be amenable to it,” the king agreed. “Please begin while I finish this document.”

Bremen trotted across the study floor and through the door left slightly ajar for him into the king’s private quarters. There was a small room for bathing off to one side and the cat headed toward it. Once he reached the door, he leapt up and latched onto the wide handle with both forepaws. After some careful maneuvering, he managed to swing the heavy door open. Bremen quickly dropped to the floor and shimmied through the crack into the bathing room.

Bremen padded across the tile and mortar floor to the large tub set against one wall. It was large enough that Anand, who pushed 6 spans, was able to stretch out comfortably. The cat jumped to the rounded bronze rim then pawed at the handles until water flowed. While the tub was filling, he hopped off and sauntered over to a large pottery container, glazed so that it wouldn’t dissolve in the water and steam. He nosed open the lid then poked his head in and sniffed.

Small soap balls wrapped in fabric filled the container. Each contained herbs whose purpose varied from aiding sleep to easing bodily aches. Their scents were just as assorted though most of the humans were not aware of Anand’s indulgence. Given the king’s sensitive nose only a hint of perfume could be used.

Bremen selected one carefully wrapped ball and lifted it out with his mouth. He nudged the lid closed then leapt onto the bronze rim once more. He dropped the ball into the tub, flicking his leg in distaste when the water splashed onto him. He would have to remind the king to acquire more soap balls from Zara since his stash was running low. The king paid for them of course. To simply accept them as gifts, which Zara would have been more than happy to give, would be to invite further favors to be collected by the royal courtesan.

Grumbling to himself about greedy courtesans, the cat watched the tub fill with water. Once the level was high enough, he smacked the handles to shut off the water then headed back to inform the king his bath was ready. Anand scribbled his signature a few more times before setting aside his quill and pushing back his chair.

The king’s limp was more pronounced than usual as he walked into the bedroom. Bremen mentally added a few additional words of hostility toward Scylla before shifting his size. His smallest form was the size of a small teacup. His largest brought his shoulder up nearly to the king’s hip. He chose that form now and casually his leaned weight against the king to support the injured leg. Anand glanced down at him, startled.

“Do you sense anything amiss?” he asked in concern, knowing Bremen used the form only at great need as he claimed it tired him.

“No,” the cat replied innocently, “I just felt like it.”

The king watched in suspicion but when the cat continued to press innocently against him, he gave in and rested his hand on Bremen’s shoulders. Using the cat as a crutch, Anand limped across the room, pausing only to disrobe before making his way into the bathing room.

Bremen shifted to his usual size of an average housecat then bounded up to balance delicately on the rim of the tub. The king often felt the urge to tip the exasperating feline into the water but not today.

“Do you like the scent I choose?” Bremen asked. “Is it warm enough? Too warm? You humans burn so easily. Ogres can walk right through boiling oil you know. Which is convenient, at least for them. Not so much if you’re trying to keep them from invading your castle.”

The king listened to the familiar chatter of his friend as he limped toward an odd wooden shelf.

“Ogres aside I was not aware that your skin was less easy to scald,” he replied as he scooped up the shelf.

He hooked the lip of the contraption around tub’s rim. The ‘bottom’ of the shelf was a span in length and was weighted so that it hung below the water. A second, smaller shelf protruded a few finger widths from the water’s surface and staggered from the longer shelf so that they were almost like steps.

“Humans are delicate creatures,” the cat insisted. “So prone to burns and scrapes and dying.”

Bremen stepped down onto the uppermost shelf then slowly eased himself down onto the bottom shelf, grumbling as he did so. Anand fished for the fabric bag at the bottom of the tub while he waited for Bremen to settle himself. Once he’d set the fabric aside, the king eased a leg over the tub’s free side and lowered himself into the water. A soft sigh of pleasure escaped him as he leaned back into the water’s embrace.

Bremen’s tail swished in the bath, pleased his friend was satisfied with his efforts.

“See? Relaxing isn’t so bad. You didn’t even break that indomitable will of yours to do it.”

“I have never claimed that leisure is something to be avoided.”

The cat mraowed in obvious disagreement.

“You mistake my lack of excess as an inability to enjoy that which pleasures me,” Anand insisted.

“Do you even know what excess means?” Bremen grumbled as he settled further into the water. He propped his chin comfortably on the smaller shelf before closing his eyes.

“If I did not there are plenty of examples in my court which would give me the necessary observations.”

“And I’m sure the court would enjoy themselves all the more if your observation turned to participation.”

“I take no pleasure in companionship for the mere sake of physical pleasure.”

“If kings were crowned by sexual prowess alone your throne would be in danger,” Bremen sighed. “It’s almost as if Seris seeks to make up for your abstinence with his excess.”

“Then it is fortunate the throne is not so inclined. Between Seris and Zara it is extremely difficult for one to be competitive,” the king observed.

“If Majesty actually tried I’m sure he could find a reasonably intelligent companion to pass his time with,” the cat insisted.

The king himself was sadly unaware that despite his intimidating mien most of the court agreed he was handsome in his own way. Bremen himself had the displeasure of overhearing the noble ladies and lords make more than a few suggestions on what they would be happy to do with that attraction if given the chance. Some had apparently tried anyway and were not at all deterred by the king’s casual rebuff.

“Apparently tall, dark, and brooding are in style this season or so I’ve heard,” Bremen added casually. “No accounting for human taste I suppose.”

“I do not brood.”

“No, you glower.”

“Regardless, I have already found an intelligent companion with which to pass my time.”

“Majesty the royal stallions do not count.”

Anand favored him with an expression of amused disapproval.

“I was referring to you, Bremen.”

The royal cat nearly fell off his perch in surprise. Anand steadied him then took a brush and began scrubbing the salt out of the cat’s coat before he could protest. Bremen began purring before he could stop himself then glowered up at Anand when he sensed the man’s amusement.

“What are you smiling about? You’re brushing too hard!”

“You have my apologies,” the king replied with marked solemnity and gentled his touch.

Bremen sniffed in protest but allowed the cleaning to continue, now and then commenting on a section that needed extra brushing or complaining that the king’s strokes were too hard or too soft. Anand humored the feline as much as possible and found enjoyment in the simple task of bringing the cream coat back to its pristine condition. He even cleaned the cat’s face and whiskers, careful to avoid getting water or soap in eyes and ears.

When Bremen finally pronounced himself clean, Anand squeezed the water out of his coat then set him down outside the tub. While the king began scrubbing himself clean, Bremen burrowed into a pile of towels off to the side. He turned twice before settling then poked his head back out the opening.

“If Majesty would invite one of the servants to come in occasionally while he bathes, he might gain some human companionship,” the cat said, trying to pick up where they had left off.

“I prefer privacy while I bathe as well you know.”

“You prefer privacy all the time,” the cat grumbled.

“Has Zara bribed you to speak of this?” Anand asked as he rinsed the salt-water from his hair.

“Just because Zara says something doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

The king raised an eyebrow at him.

“He can’t be wrong all of the time. That’s numerically impossible,” Bremen insisted.

Anand grunted but didn’t disagree.

Satisfied he’d made his point, the Royal Advisor turned his attentions to rearranging his coat with his tongue. The king ignored the point as he continued scrubbing himself down. When he was finally satisfied all salt had been removed, he leaned against the back of the tub and closed his eyes. Letting the hot water and scented soap soak into muscles and skin. Letting himself relax.

“What are you going to do about Seris?”

Just like that the tenseness reappeared. The king sighed then leaned forward and pulled the stopper from the drain.

“He is becoming overly protective of the child. I am of half a mind to separate them,” he said as he stepped carefully from the tub. He grabbed the remaining towel and began to dry himself off while Bremen stared.

“Majesty, Seris wouldn’t stop with tantrums and throwing carriage doors if you took his child.”

“That is precisely what concerns me. He was much more focused on his duties before he adopted Liliana.”

“He was also much more focused on tearing your throat out,” Bremen pointed out as he slid away from his towel nest and shook himself. “In the most submissive way possible, of course.”

“That was not unexpected. I choose him precisely for his dedication to forcing his way into the most powerful position his abilities could afford him.”

“And he’ll throw all that away if you touch his child,” the cat warned Anand. “You couldn’t foresee the princess, but we know better than most that companionship appears in the strangest places.”

The king refused to reply as he grabbed both towels and tossed them into the appropriate bin. He opened the door and shivered slightly at the sudden drop in temperature.

Bremen hurried out of the bathing room and made a beeline for the bed. He burrowed under the covers, becoming nothing more than a lump under the bed sheets. The king pulled on his sleeping attire then quickly joined him. Bremen inched his way to the king’s side and curled up there, kneading against a hip until he was comfortable.

“That ogre was interesting,” he commented suddenly, his voice in no way muted by the layers of bedding. Something Anand found truly unfortunate. “Remember the one that dropped us off at the ship?”

“I do. He was,” the king replied shortly, hopping his companion would get the hint that he was tired and wished to sleep.

“Pretty strange for an ogre. He seemed completely uninterested in bashing anyone’s skull in,” the cat continued cheerily. Anand sighed in defeat.

“It is likely the result of his mixed heritage which you were quick to point out to me.”

“But nurture is just as important as the nature of a magical creature,” Bremen pointed out. “I can’t imagine a horde being very nurturing.”

“If one ogre can be unusual then it is not impossible a whole horde might be so.”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“You are being illogical.”

“I’m a cat.”

The king sighed.

“And because I’m a cat I heard a very interesting conversation between the Lady Aisha and Prince Angelis. Also before you lecture me, I was in her sanctuary with permission. Angelis simply wasn’t aware of my presence.”

For such an attention-seeking creature, the cat had an uncanny ability to go unnoticed when he chose Anand noticed.

“And what of particular interest did this conversation involve?”

“The ogre. The Lady was the one who interviewed him. Stands to reason since ogres are classified as one of the more dangerous of the Folk.”

“Since she let him into the city, he is unlikely to cause significant trouble.”

“Depends on your definition of trouble,” the cat said slyly. “Say Angelis attacking him for kidnapping the princess?”

“I was not informed of this,” Anand replied sharply.

“And Seris claims you don’t like her.”

“It is not a matter of dislike or partiality that concerns me. Any such attempt on the royal line will have far-reaching consequences in–”

“Yes, yes, but the important bit of gossip is that they didn’t report it because Lily wandered off while Angelis was distracted. But get this, the ogre found her and...” Bremen trailed off into suspenseful silence. Anand ignored the goading and turned onto his side, closing his eyes.

“I will sleep if you do not finish,” the king informed.

“You have no appreciation for the fine craft of storytelling,” the feline muttered.

“I am sleeping now.”

“Fine! He did nothing!”

“If he did nothing then why did Angelis attack?”

“If you found Scylla holding your granddaughter what would you assume?”

“That we were doomed now that she had found a way to attack us on dry ground. Additionally, she is not my granddaughter as we are not blood related.”

“You’re ruining the story!”

“You are very ineffective in its telling.”

Bremen pressed his cold nose against the king’s skin and pouted. Anand was almost asleep when he added, “anyway he didn’t attack or steal the child when he had the chance. He even gave up the right to a blood feud which no ogre in his right mind would do.”

“Perhaps he is lacking in mental prowess,” the king replied tiredly.

“My point is you have a reasonable ogre right under your nose. You should do something with him!”

“A reasonable ogre does not a kingdom make.”

“It’s the closest thing to a miraculous weapon that’s going to drop in your lap,” Bremen growled.

“I have never claimed the need for such.”

Bremen sank his claws into the bed sheets and began to shred them in a temper.

“If he has the patience to answer all the princess’s questions without going madd, then surely he has the mettle to do more than carry brick around.”

“Patience is a commendable virtue.”

“And you’re trying mine.” Bremen’s tail twitched as he felt the king’s glare through the sheets. “Anyway, he likes Lily and Lady Aisha let him in. That should count for something of a character reference.”

“Liked in what manner?”

“He wanted to eat her,” the cat said, tone just a shade too innocent. Anand swatted the covers. “Fine. He liked her like normal people like little kids. He was fond of her. Not sure why.”

“She is endearing. His behavior does not strike me as odd.”

“Endearing is she?”

“So I have been told,” the king replied, not rising to the bait. “And if you do not go to sleep, I will never again find you endearing in any degree real or imagined.”

Bremen purred in amusement and it was the last sound the king heard before he slept.