Fay Tale - Chapter Eleven

Maidd sat in the backroom of the Beached Whale Inn and wondered what he had gotten himself into. Across from him sat a human, tall by their standards, with black hair starting to grey. Sharp blue eyes examined him with disconcerting impartiality.

If he asks me to do something illegal, I’ll have to say no because I don’t want to lose my city token. But if I say no he’ll probably arrange for a little ‘accident’ to happen, and I’ll lose it anyway.

“Mraow?” An innocent feline voice cut through his dilemma, and Maidd turned his attention to the slender cat who perched on his lap.

And it’s your fault I’m here in the first place.

The ogre glared at the small creature who simply purred and settled himself more comfortably. When the cat had wandered into his barn earlier that evening, he’d been delighted to reunite with the first animal that hadn’t tried to cave his skull in. The cat had a small silk pouched tied around his neck which contained an odd coin and the instructions to this inn and its small back room.

And like a sailor to a siren I followed it to my doom, Maidd thought gloomily.

“You are the ogre, Maidd.”

The human’s voice broke the silence first. Maidd fought the urge to shift in his too-small chair.

“Yes.”

“I wish to offer you employment. Once a satisfactory probation period has been achieved, it would be permanent to the point of years.”

The ogre ran his hand over the cat’s back without taking his eyes off the man. The feline purred louder.

“What sort of employment?”

“To begin with it is perfectly legal in nature. You will obtain a full city medallion along with more specialized identification given the location of your work.”

“And that would be?”

“Most often in the castle. Frequently in the city of Endyr. The rest of Eirendyr less frequently.”  

“And if I refuse?”

“I will be disappointed and you will be a fool for having refused an excellent offer. Nothing more.”

“Meaning I’ll be able to walk out of here a free ogre?” Maidd pressed.

He’d been called a fool before. It was a lot easier to live with than arrows and swords and magic raining down on his head.

“Of course.”

Right. “What would I be doing in the castle?” Maidd asked.

“Caring for the princess of the royal heir.”

The ogre stared.

“You are qualified for the position as her Guardian,” the human went on. “Castle etiquette can be taught as you are not unintelligent. You would be paid well for your services and when they are no longer required, you will be given property on which to settle or the monetary equivalent.”

The ogre continued staring until Bremen’s soulful mroaw shook his thoughts loose.

“You want me—an ogre—to watch a princess?! Are you madd?!”

“Eccentric, yes. Without intelligence, no.”

“You don’t even know me! I’ve seen her two times and suddenly you think I’m capable of watching her constantly?”

“It will suffice that my information networks are expansive and exact. I acknowledge your moral character, and if the probationary period goes well, I will acknowledge your mental acuity at adjusting to court life,” the human continued with no hint that Maidd’s objections offended him.

“I don’t think her father will approve of this,” he said at last.

“Prince Seris will make no objections to your presence.”

And who is this human to order crown princes around?

“Aarav Anand, king of Eirendyr,” the human replied to his unspoken question.

Maidd said a very impolite word in ogrish.

“I assure you I do not jest. If you doubt my word, you may ask Bremen who is a royal advisor.”

The king inclined his head toward the cat in the ogre’s lap. Bremen who was now sprawled on his back stretched his long limbs out then curled into an even more uncomfortable-looking ball.

“You have a cat for an advisor?”

“It is a trial.”

“Okay…so you’re the king and you want me to babysit the princess.”

“A royal guardian, especially for one so young, has a great deal more responsibility than that. She must be taught correct etiquette and how to conduct herself in a satisfactory manner-”

“Basically it’s like guarding a castle full of dragon’s treasure from a horde of ogres,” Bremen piped up.

Maidd started at the unexpected voice and stared down at the cat. The talking cat.

“The nobles don’t like his Majesty,” Bremen continued blithely. “They’re offended someone of common blood could swoop in and take over their kingdom. Then Majesty had the temerity to not produce any blood heirs but choose two vampires instead. And then those vampires-”

“Chose yet another who was not blood related. I am uncertain why the ability to sire a child is considered such a prerequisite for running a kingdom,” the king sighed.

“That’s because most guys think with their equipment, Majesty.”

“So it would seem.”

“Anyway,” the cat continued, “Basically the princess is like a big, bright crown dangling over the moat.”

“So...you want me to intimidate them enough so that they leave her alone, but not so much that they refuse to interact with her.”

Bremen mraowed in acknowledgement. The ogre sighed and ran a hand through his red mane distractedly.

“Okay I get the fact that I’m intimidating, but wouldn’t some other magical creature be better? One that’s good with children for instance?”

“Most of those normally eat them,” the cat pointed out.

“Most humans think ogres eat babies too.”

“But you do not so the point is moot,” Anand asserted.

“Not if every time I walk down the hallway people start clutching their children to them.”

“There are relatively few children within the castle,” the king informed him. “It is the habit of the nobility to keep their clans secure in their own manors, while many of the servants live outside the castle walls.”

“The princess doesn’t have any friends,” Bremen said innocently. “And none of the typical ladies-in-waiting can manage her. It sure would be a shame for her to grow up alone.”

Maidd glared down at the cat.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re really, really annoying?”

“Every day,” the cat said with a pleased smile.

“Approximately every candlemark,” the king added.

The ogre sighed then set his hands out on the table.

“You know I need money and work–”

“And that you have a soft spot for children,” Bremen added.

“And that,” Maidd growled. “Point is I can’t really refuse.” It’s a king’s request no less. Doesn’t matter. They’ll find out I’m not suitable soon enough. If I can keep my head intact long enough to prove my worth in other ways, then maybe the king will give me some royal work somewhere else. Somewhere far away from the castle, I hope.

“Excellent.” The king slid a small document across the table. “Examine this. Direct your questions to Bremen. I look forward to your first report on the princess’s progress.”

He stood and limped out of the room while the ogre was still trying to decide if he should stand and what to do with the cat on his lap. Bremen purred in amusement at his distress.

“I hate you.”

“Nonsense. You think I'm adorable.”

He wiggled around and waved his paws up at the ogre in an undeniably cute manner.

“You’re lucky I don’t eat you.”

“I’m much too skinny,” Bremen insisted. “Not even Scylla wants me.”

Maidd sighed and scooted the document closer to read over.