Fay Tale - Chapter Twenty-Two

The horses thudded slowly through the forest, hooves heavily muffled by the leaf-covered path. When the king paused in the middle of that path, Maidd gingerly craned his head around the rump of Lily’s pony to see why.

Bremen sat smugly in the middle of the path, squarely in the center of a large beam of sunshine that had fought its way through the dense canopy. 

“He looks like he’s here to give us a quest,” Maidd muttered quietly. Apparently not quietly enough for the king glanced back at him.

“Do not tempt him,” Anand remonstrated, “for it will not be an enjoyable one.”

“But those are always the ones that do you mortals the most good,” Bremen insisted as he hopped up to the saddle then plopped into his now-empty saddlebag.

“They are certainly the ones which give you the most enjoyment.”

“Of course they are. Watching feeble-minded idiots struggle through heroic tasks never gets old.”

Maidd decided in that moment he would never under any circumstance ask Bremen for advice or directions.

Their return journey was uneventful, but just as a set of stable hands caught the bridles on the king’s gelding and the pony Lily rode, a large carriage clattered through the main gate. There was a hiss of excitement from the servants who immediately swarmed the new arrival. Even the stable hands, which held the horses, were clearly distracted.

Dearly as Maidd wished to see who or what deserved this amount of attention, he kept his focus on his charge. Lily was hiking her leg over the side the saddle and prepared to drop down without assistance. Maidd took a chance and swooped her up then side-stepped as the pony showed its teeth at him. That, at least, got the stablehand’s attention. With a tut and a swift tug on the reins, the pony returned to its usual humor.

King Anand had already dismounted and looked at the carriage with more than his usual amount of stoicism. Was it some sort of enemy?

“It’s the Royal Courtesan.”

Maidd flinched at the voice then again as Bremen leapt from the saddlebag to his shoulder.

“I didn’t know we had one of those.”

“Unfortunately,” Bremen grumbled.

“Zara’s here!” Lily cheered in his arms.

At that moment the door to the carriage swung open and a tall, slender creature stepped out. Long silver-blonde hair fell in waves down her shoulders and past the slim waist belted with delicate silver chains. A black dress covered her from neck to ankle in a style Maidd was completely unfamiliar with even having lived in the castle for several weeks. Some strands of her hair had been dyed a vivid green, which matched the stones hanging on pendants from her ears as well as the many rings on her fingers. Her loose hair was swept back out of her face by an intricate metal headpiece the center of which held the largest emerald of all carved into the shape of an inverted eye. Her eyes were painted with more green and her lips were–okay he should stop staring now.

Maidd wrenched his gaze down to the top of Lily’s curls, realized he was holding his breath, and let it out slowly. Wow. No wonder she was the royal courtesan. He’d never seen someone literally breath-taking before.

Bremen muttered something that sounded suspiciously like ‘attention whore’ as he washed an ear. Maidd hid a smile. If he were that pretty, he’d probably flaunt himself down some carriage steps too.

The ogre almost missed the king’s gesture for him to follow as he limped past. Carrying his double burdens, Maidd followed as a set of four royal guards emerged to suddenly flank them once again. He glanced at the unfriendly eyes of the nearest and sighed.

Nobody wants an ogre close to their king.

They paused at the top of the steps leading into the castle. Maidd wondered if it was for the king to rest his injury. He was probably feeling it after the ride and the climb, but he didn’t appear particularly winded or in pain. Not that you could tell much from his current expression. Maidd followed his gaze to the royal courtesan who had finished distributing her rather large amount of luggage amongst the servants and now started up the stairs as well.

She was accompanied by even more servants on the climb, but they all fell back as she approached the king. Maidd marveled over the courtesan’s beauty once again. He’d heard the dwarven saying ‘too perfect to be true’, but the first time he understood it. She was hypnotizing, almost fey in appearance.

The Royal Courtesan paused just before reaching the formation of guards and curtsied gracefully; the king bowed slightly in return. Then the delicate woman sashayed past the royal guards, wrapped her arms around the king, and kissed him passionately on the lips. Since the guards didn’t react, Maidd decided this was normal. Embarrassing. But normal. Thankfully Lily chose that moment to wriggle in his arms so he had something else to concentrate on.

Finally Zara pulled back, a smile curving her mouth.

“I missed you, Aarav.”

Her use of the king’s first name cemented her place high in the hierarchy of nobility to Maidd’s mind. Unlike ogres, humans were very particular on who called them what. At least, the nobility and wealthy seemed to be.

“I see you have returned.”

The tone was dry. Much different than Maidd had expected from someone who had just been kissed by the most beautiful person he’d ever seen.

“Yourself as well, my king.”

“It was a brief absence merely to give Liliana experience in dealing with magical entities. May I presume by your enthusiastic greeting that you have much to share with me?” Anand asked, his tone still showing none of the anticipation Maidd would have expected.

Zara noticed too and withdrew with a sigh, stepping back until she could easily meet his eyes.

“Few have your gift at upsetting a mood, my king.”

“Bremen has informed me of such,” the king replied, not at all chastised. He indicated the ogre with a gesture. “This is Liliana’s Guardian. No doubt you have already heard of his appointment.”

“His arrival. His appointment. His activities,” Zara agreed, tossing long blond hair over her shoulder. Her gaze slid up Maidd’s body. When their gazes met, the ogre saw no fear her blue eyes. “No one mentioned his fine form, however. How atrociously remiss of them.”

“Um,” Maidd said intelligently.

He was not used to being complimented by others. Especially not humans. Especially not humans who were royal courtesans in front of their royal patron.

“Zara is lavish with compliments,” the king explained, seeming to guess the tenor of his thoughts. “Do not let it concern you. In fact, I would suggest you brace yourself for more in the future.”

“He’d call an oozing orifice beautiful if he thought it might be useful to him,” a dry voice said from below.

All three looked down to see Bremen sitting beside them, suddenly no longer on Maidd’s shoulder. The cat was now cleaning a paw with suspicious innocence.

“The royal advisor. How delightful,” said Zara.

“The royal courtesan. How depressing.”

“Bremen,” the king murmured in warning. The cat ignored his friend and continued to wash his immaculate brown paw.

“My king there are those whose companionship is much more pleasant than a feline’s,” Zara promised and stepped close until she was pressed against the king’s chest. “More satisfying as well.”

Anand did not answer. In the silence that followed a wet, dribbling sound could be heard. Moments later Zara leapt away with a shriek of horror. Bremen was crouched over the area her foot had been, still leaking urine. The cat glanced back at the courtesan over his shoulder then cocked his tail insultingly.

Maidd slapped his hands over Lily’s ears as the two old enemies promptly began trading an impressive array of insults and foul language. She watched their lips move, eyes round with glee. Maidd had to admit he was impressed. Bremen’s list of insults was large and pointed, but the royal courtesan’s was all the more impressive by the sheer unexpectedness of it.

This went on for some time, everyone but the arguing pair seeming frozen in shock, when the king finally stepped between the two.

“Enough. We have more important duties to attend. You may continue this later.”

“But my dress!” Zara shrieked.

“Is undamaged. His aim is true.”

Maidd could swear that for a moment the king was amused.

“Your shoes, however, are another matter. I will wait for you to change them. Bremen,” he added as he saw the cat sneaking off. “You will accompany us in our rounds of greetings.”

“But I don’t want-”

“And you will behave.”

The cat sulked and grumbled to himself. Maidd privately thought he had only himself to blame. Lily chose that moment to demand to be set down. Maidd obeyed only to wish he hadn’t as the child dashed over to the royal courtesan yelling her name.

Zara slipped out her remaining shoe and stepped to the side smoothly. This forced the child to turn slightly, slowing her speed to a mere collision with the tall woman’s legs. Maidd was impressed.

Zara bent and hugged the princess, kissing her on each cheek and being kissed in return.

“Hi Zara! Did you miss me? Did you have fun on your trip? Why were you gone so long?” the child asked, snapping questions off at rapid speed.

“I most certainly did, and I’m very fond of your little braid, dearest, did Seris help you this morning?” she asked, side-stepping the questions as easily as she had the initial charge.

“No. Daddy pouted about it because Maidd did it. Angel said Daddy shouldn’t pout just because Maidd pays better attention when he teaches.”

“Hmm, did he now? He seems very good with his hands.” Zara looked up and caught the ogre squarely in her gaze. “I might have to borrow him.”

Meziroth’s mighty bollocks! Maidd gaped mentally.

“I can do it too!” Lily insisted.

Maidd all but collapsed with gratitude as Zara turned her attention back to the child. There was absolutely no way he would survive being caught up in the courtesan’s little games. He risked a glance in the king’s direction, but the monarch seemed completely unmoved by the flirtation. Maidd hoped he and Lily could leave soon. He didn’t think his nerves could take much more of this. He’d rather face down an army of magical toads than trade innuendo with this woman!

Thankfully, Lily managed to keep the woman occupied with her nonstop pestering until out of self-defense Zara produced a small, candied stick from somewhere up her sleeve. She handed it to the child who beamed with pleasure.

“Here, dearest. I can see they’ve finally found the right trunk for my shoes. We’ll be ready to go soon.”

“A treat for me?!” Lily paused. “Is it ginger?”

Zara’s laugh was music.

“No, my dearest, it is not.”

She glanced with amusement in the king’s direction, but Anand seemed content to stay out of the conversation entirely.

Lily started to lick the candy as several servants appeared carrying the new footwear. One chosen servant kneeled before Zara and began to slip them onto the courtesan’s feet, while she casually used the king’s arm to steady herself. The king seemed resigned to the indignity. Bremen sniffed his displeasure but said nothing.

Once Zara was ready, Anand offered her his arm. She took it, pressing closely to his side. He grunted and they moved off together followed by the royal guards, the ogre and his princess, and a whole train of servants.

Maidd had no idea where they were going or what they were doing, but he found that most of the time he simply needed to keep his mouth shut and look appropriately intimidating. If he or Lily needed to stand or do anything in particular a servant would come to guide them into the right place. Anything that required more complicated maneuvers would result in Prince Angelis appearing or prepping him beforehand.

Maidd needn’t have worried. Nobody even noticed them with Zara in attendance. In fact, it seemed that the whole point of this infuriating crawl through the castle was to show the woman off. Nobility, craftsmen, and even servants flocked from all directions. The nobility took precedence, of course, always seeming to know when another’s turn had finished and appearing, oh so casually, at a bend in the corridor or through a nearby door. The high-ranking craftsmen were next, women and men from all trades fawning over the courtesan who traded smiles, gentle touches, and personal exchanges with all. Even the servants were acknowledged though they had to squeeze themselves between craftsmen and nobility.

After a full candlemark of this, Lily was in danger of simply sitting down and refusing to budge. Maidd was nearly in agreement. After the novelty of the procession wore off, it was mind-numbingly boring.

He was impressed by how many names Zara remembered. Not just the individuals speaking to her but those of their friends and families as well. Her patience was seemingly limitless. Then again she appeared to be enjoying herself to the fullest, flirting and teasing with one and all who came into her path.

That actually settled Maidd’s nerves. He was in no way special or singled out. All received her notice and all were invited to her little flirtatious games. He might be something as a novelty as an ogre, but his lack of any sort of prowess in such games would mean he would be forgotten shortly.

Maidd’s attention shifted as the king gestured to one of his guards who stepped forward. Anand murmured something into her ear after which she bowed then moved out of position and in the direction of Maidd and Lily.

“His Majesty wishes to inform you that the Princess’s presence is no longer required for this event,” she said as quietly as one could without being able to reach the ear one wished to whisper into. At least she didn’t seem one of the guards inclined to spear him on sight.

“We hear and obey,” Maidd said immediately then gently prodded Lily.

“Lily says thank you very very much to Grumps,” the princess said with obvious relief.

A smile tugged at the corner of the guard’s mouth as she bowed to the princess then returned to her post.

Niceties finished, Maidd and Lily casually detached themselves from the group and meandered down the nearest corridor. After a few turns they were out of both eyesight and earshot, and Lily sighed gustily as she turned to her guardian and held out her arms.

“Maidd carry me now.”

“Yes Princess.”

He scooped her up willingly and she collapsed with all the drama her little body possessed against his chest.

“I am exhausted.”

Maidd bit down a laugh. She looked exactly like Prince Seris had coming back from a fete last night. He’d thrown himself down on the bed in Lily’s room and tossed a hand over his eyes before complaining of the endless drama of courtiers.

“You did very well, princess. Your father and Angel will be very proud of you.”

“I’m very good,” she said with a nod then yawned.

Hmm, better have a nap after luncheon. She’d played hard with Verbaedenbenhamid only to come back and have to stand around for the next candlemark listening to people drone on about Zara’s entrancing appearance and welcomed return.

Maidd wouldn’t suggest the nap, though. He’d learned that quickly enough from his ogre pups. The best way to get children to protest a nap was to suggest they take one! He’d let her play with her little wooden ponies for awhile, let her sit in his lap maybe, and she’d probably drop right to sleep.

“A very good princess,” he agreed. “And very good princesses get luncheon.”

She perked up some and managed a cheer as he carried her away down the hallway.